


Told You

by Clarrisani



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:58:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarrisani/pseuds/Clarrisani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never, ever, let Jack get bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Told You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2008 [ Torchwood Australia](http://torchwoodaustralia.com/) Writing Challenge #2

Ianto had long come to realise that, no matter what the circumstances, you really couldn't expect things to go according to plan while working for Torchwood. Even at Torchwood One he could remember the many occasions when Yvonne Hartman had proclaimed some great experiment and revolution, and the PR team had ended up having to work through the night to cover it up. He and Lisa had spent many an hour laughing about that.

When he had moved to Torchwood Three after Torchwood One's last and final screw up (Ghost Patrol - he'd known something was wrong from the start), Ianto had come to realise that the principle of expecting things to go wrong was even more true. While Jack did know what he was doing most of the time, the same could not be said for the rest of the team.

Owen had a nasty habit of blundering in without thinking, looking for fast results and proclaiming that the only way to work out how technology worked was to work the technology. Ianto usually ended up spending the next four hours cleaning up the mess. Usually it was just a decoration problem – a few bricks loose here, singe on the wall there – but one time it had included four shishkebabed Weevils whose insides somehow ended up mince meat all over the floor. At least Myfawny had helped out, despite her being sick for three weeks afterwards. Guess who had cleaned _that_ up.

Toshiko at least thought before she acted. Nine times out of ten she'd put an end to the experiment before something exploded, but when something didn't work out she'd spend a good deal of time covering up, usually deleting files that she shouldn't in the process, which of course brought it to Jack's attention, who would then have Ianto go back and retrieve said deleted files to find out what was going on.

Gwen... well, that really depended on her mood. In some ways she was like Suzie had been – caught up in the emotion, but still able to think laterally. Of course, Gwen did tend to become distracted. Rhys had a nasty habit of calling at exactly the wrong moment, meaning Gwen would lose control of whatever it was she was doing, and it often resolved with an Owen like mess.

Ianto himself had made his own share of messes. In the early days he had just let the others do the experimenting while he sat back and cleaned everything up, but lately Jack had been encouraging him to become a bit more proactive with the technology they found. Just recently he'd almost blown Owen's family jewels to pieces after pointing what had turned out to be a weapon in said direction. He still maintained it had been an accident, even if Owen didn't believe him.

But if anyone knew how to make a mess, it was Jack.

Jack always thought things through, and often knew when he was taking things too far and would stop before anything bad happened. He understood most of the technology they found, thus preventing any nasty accidents, and despite being immortal made sure that he never did anything stupid that would get him killed. Apparently dying and coming back to life 'stang like a bitch' in his words.

But there were times when things did go wrong as far as Jack was concerned, and somehow that always ended up involving the whole team. Like now for instance. Ianto had never been in a more uncomfortable or compromising position, and he was sure that the rest of the team would agree with him on that point. Owen currently sounded like he was seriously considering shooting their boss again – if he had his gun, anyway.

Ianto sighed, closing his eyes as Gwen and Owen continued bickering with Jack, Toshiko obviously trying to strategise some way out of this mess. As he waited, Ianto thought back over how it had all come to be.

 

*  *  *

 

It had started as a regular day for Torchwood. An alien sighting had occurred overnight, Tosh sending a quick message to politely request that they avoided the area in future. There had been some minor rift activity, although nothing had come through. Owen had spent the morning cleaning his tools after the autopsy two days beforehand on a Weevil who had swallowed a piece of alien technology and subsequently died, and Toshiko was currently testing that alien technology to work out what it was for.

Gwen was finalising a budget report she had been supposed to finish two days ago only Rhys had come down with the flu ("I swear, that man is a baby") and Ianto himself was continuing to fiddle around with the interior of the Rift Machine. Toshiko had come up with some new readouts to try and control it better, and as always it fell into his hands to make the adjustments.

What concerned Ianto, however, was Jack. With nothing to preoccupy him, Jack was currently reclining back on the chair in his office, feet on the table, tinkering idly with some alien tech with a bored expression on his face. Both he and Toshiko kept sending weary glances toward their boss, knowing that it was usually around now that Jack suggested something utterly outrageous. He'd even once suggested they'd have a "no clothes" day and proceeded to strut around naked for the next two hours just to see their reactions until Owen had threatened to blast his manhood off if it swayed past him again.

Ianto was making a point of avoiding Jack, knowing that Jack would probably try to talk him into some sort of office athletics on his desk, even with the others around. In fact, Jack would probably hand out score cards and demand a tally from the others if he did. He'd tried it once – Ianto had had to accidentally deliberately spill the coffee all over Jack to escape, much to the others amusement.

But right now Ianto could sense an alarm going off at the back of his mind as he saw Jack's forehead furrow at some idea, then a bright smile spread across his lips. Ianto shot Tosh a panicked look, one she returned as their boss sprang to his feet, practically bouncing into the main work area.

"Tosh," Jack said. "Have we tested that new panic room yet?"

Tosh blinked at him. "Not that I know of..."

"Well how about we give it a try." Jack caught her arm, tugging her from her seat and reaching out with his other hand to catch Ianto's sleeve.

Ianto considered clinging to the Rift Machine for dear life (which was probably true, actually) but knew better of it. Last time he had done that Jack had spent the better part of 20 minutes prying him free using several different means, all of which had ended up with sexual overtones and had become the focus of their 'dabbling' later that night. God, it aroused him just to think of it.

Ianto reluctantly stepped out of the machine, allowing Jack to loop an arm around his waist and draw him toward the tunnel toward the archives, Jack calling out of Owen and Gwen on the way. They too knew better than to disobey Jack (like Gwen could, being as moon-eyed as she was over _his_ Captain), so followed them down toward the small alcove where they had recently installed a panic room, just in case they ended up locked in the Hub with yet another hostile creature.

Stopping beside the device, Jack hit the button that slid the camouflaged entrance door aside, allowing them to see inside the room for the first time. Four pairs of eyes widened in horror as Jack grinned.

"There's no way we can all fit in there!" Gwen protested.

"And where's the computer mainframe you promised to install," Toshiko said. "How can we control the defences if we don't have access to them?"

"It's a work in progress," Jack replied. "I'll put them in when I get the time."

"I'm with Gwen," Owen said. "We can't fit in there already, so where're you going to find the space for a computer?"

"I do magic," Jack said with a wink. "In you go."

No one moved.

"Oh come on." Jack stepped forward, swinging inside and dropping up against the back wall just below the single air vent. "See, it's bigger than it looks."

Tosh poked her head in quickly before ducking back out. "Where are the door controls?"

Jack pointed to his wrist. "It's just a panic room. I can open the door at any time, and there's a failsafe opening mechanism anyway. I'll fit the main controls when I install the computer."

Ianto sighed heavily. "Why do I foresee us all getting stuck in there for several hours like a pack of sardines?"

Jack shot him a look.

Shaking his head and knowing nothing would talk their boss into letting them get back to work, Ianto decided to humour him. He stepped forward, joining Jack in the panic room, Jack grinning and patting the spot beside him, Ianto reluctantly taking a seat. He turned back to look at the others, watching as one-by-one they fought their own internal wars and joined them in the room.

"It's a bit tight," Gwen complained. "I think we should all get out."

"No, come on." Jack pressed a button on his wrist, Ianto and the others letting out sharp gasps as the door slid closed and sealed them in. "See. We all fit, even with the door closed."

"Jack," Gwen said, breathing slowly but still betraying her faint sense of panic. "Open the door. Open the door, right now."

Ianto blinked, noting that it was so dark he couldn't tell if his eyes were open or closed. He sighed as he felt Jack chuckled. "No lights then."

"All still coming. Not that bad in here really, is it."

Gwen hissed through her teeth. "Open the fucking door!"

"Christ, Harkness." Owen muttered. "You've proven your point. Let us out."

Ianto felt Jack shift, a faint blue light shining in the darkness as Jack began taping the controls on his wrist device. He saw Jack frown, repeating the motion.

"Sir?"

Jack snapped his wrist device closed. "Like I said, it has a failsafe. It should open in around four hours." Pause. "Or was it four days?"

"Your wrist device doesn't work?" Tosh asked, voice creeping up in pitch.

"Ah..." He could hear the sheepish note in Jack's tone. "I didn't have time to test it."

"So let me get this straight," Gwen said, taking a deep breath. "You brought us in here not knowing if you could get the door open."

Jack's silence was answer enough.

 

*  *  *

 

Ianto sighed, shifting to try and regain the circulation to his limbs. He estimated it had been about three hours now, Jack having remembered that it _was_ four hours. Ianto had since begun mentally counting down, even if just to ignore the bickering around him.

So far, they'd discovered that Gwen had unfortunately had baked beans for breakfast, Owen hadn't gone to the toilet since that morning (and constantly reminded Jack of that fact) and Toshiko's stomach made interesting noises when she was hungry. Ianto himself spent a good deal of time slapping Jack's hands away as the other tried to sneak them into places that the others didn't need to know about, although he allowed Jack's arm to remain around his waist and the other man to plant the occasional kiss on the neck much to Owen's disgust.

"Oh for Christ sake, Harkness, leave him alone," Owen growled. "We can hear you, you know."

"Why do you think he does it," Ianto replied.

"Well you _could_ stop him," Owen countered.

"I don't mind," Tosh said, Ianto feeling her shift beside him. He'd caught her sneaking a hand in his direction at one stage too, which he had politely diverted back to her person.

"I do," Gwen said. "I should be home by now, helping Rhys to cook the roast."

"I had a date tonight," Owen added. "I could be out there having the time of my life, but no, I'm stuck in some stupid box because Jack fucking Harkness decided it would be fun."

Thus the bickering resumed, Ianto shifting so that he was half leaning against Jack. Jack, it seemed, was softer than the wall, and it was all Ianto could do to keep from climbing into his lap. Firstly, the roof was too low, as his head already brushed it. The other reason he didn't was because he knew it would turn Jack on, which would not end well for the others.

Sighing as the room feel into a silence, he rested his head against Jack's shoulder.

"Jack?"

He felt fingers gently caress his hip. "Yeah?"

"Hate to say it, but I told you so!"

 

 

**END**


End file.
